From The Inside

The Pup Grows!

Thursday 11 June

Monday 29 June

BARF

The things you get up to when you are off ill - and bored!  (Yep I've still been off all this week - my energy levels have been ridiculously low, even going to the doctors to get signed-off wiped me out!!).

So, since Molly (my 14 month old lab) has come off her puppy food I decided to start looking for an affordable, good quality dog food to put her on.  These complete dry food (kibble) products are all the rage at the moment.  But when you start looking into the background of them you begin to discover what they actually contain! 

My starting point was a quality document that said that none of the top 3 ingredients should be either "meal" products, additives or wheat derivatives.  There you hit problem number 1 - they all are!  These "meal" products, it turns out, contain all the total rubbish and waste from human food processing plants - bones, feathers, beaks, bowels (and contents!), feet - you name it.  I even read stories that dogs which are destroyed in dog pounds etc are usually thrown in too - often complete with collars and body bags they come in - and of course the lethal drug with which they were destroyed.  To say the least, these "meal" products are not of good quality. 

Then there are the additives.  Turns out Hills (producers of one of the main 'quality' products) allegedly contains a preservative that is also used in anti-freeze!  And I also read that it is alleged Royal Canin Food (another quality name) has additives which are banned in some countries because they may be carcinogenic.  As for the cheaper products - the colourings and additives they contain are astronomical!  Some said it would be like feeding your child on a diet of the poorest quality hamburgers, coke and Smarties - and expecting them to be both healthy and calm!!

The web is full of stories of dogs who have either prematurely died, or who suffer from allergies, stomach complaints and joint pains - which have all been attributed to the food they are eating.  Many of these articles are written by practising vets.

So what is the solution?  The thing that seems to be catching on now is the "BARF" diet (Biologically Appropriate Raw Food - or Bone and Raw Food) which is all about taking dogs back to a natural diet; good quality raw meat, some vegetables (there seems to be a lot of debate as to whether dogs are carnivores or omnivores!) and good quality bones.  Not only is this far better for the health and well-being of the dog, but it is also cheaper!  (Some butchers will even give bones, chicken wings etc for free!)  Supposedly it also makes the dogs poo less!! Dogs on commercial food, it is claimed, poo far more simply because so much of the meal is waste product to begin with.

So - the jury is out in our household, but looks like we may try moving away from the mass produced, processed meals - to some wholesome raw ingredients.  I may let you know how we get on - if I ever remember to! 

[Apologies to all those reading this who a) don't have dogs and don't care less or b) were looking for something prison related!  Incidentally the prison is looking at making the menus for prisoners more healhy/natural too - if that helps!?]

Have I Got News For You?

They say that a day in politics is a long time - look at what a week brings!!  This time last week our Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, looked on the verge of a revolt to put him out of office, with disastrous local elections just past and the prospect of equally disastrous European elections looming the next day.  This weekend however, it's all business as usual.  The moment has passed and we're left wondering what all the hype was about.  It makes me wonder - not for the first time - to what extent the BBC, and the other news agencies, report the news, and to what extent they actually generate it.  Were they reporting the events in Westminster last week, or whether they adding fuel to the fire? 

I may be old fashioned, but I think news reporters should be professional and impartial.  Have you noticed how frequently adjectives are used nowadays - "the three were found guilty of horrendous crimes"; "Israel's inhumane treatment of the Palestinians"; "Gordon Brown's weakened and indecisive leadership"?  These things may very well be true - and it's something the tabloids do all the time - but I wish organisations like the BBC would leave out these value judgements and let us decide them for ourselves.  Otherwise they are not simply reporting events - they are shaping public opinion.  (No idea where that rant came from!)

Other news that interested me this week was this story.  Brigadier Hugh Monro has been announced as the new Chief Inspector of Prisons in Scotland, to replace Rev Andrew McLellan who retires in the next few weeks.  Andrew (in my humble opinion) did a great job - he was professional, objective and out-spoken where necessary.  The post of Chief Inspector, and the system of inspection in general, is up for review, which is why Hugh Monro has only been appointed for a fixed term of 4 years, but I wish him well in his post for the years ahead - and hope that if he visits my place that he will be kind!!  (There has been even been suggestions of a thematic inspection of Chaplaincy in all the prisons - but I don't know where that discussion has reached!?)

On a personal note, me and the better half have been ill all this week with the flu.  Feeling better now - but still have a few lingering symptoms - including an internal thermostat that seems still to be doing weird things!  Hopefully I'll get back to my work on Monday.  However we weren't too ill (or maybe it was because we were ill in the head!) to go out and buy a new pup!!  We decided that Molly (now 14 months old) needs a wee sister - so Meg is on her way.  Another chocolate lab, and born on 21 May (my dad's birthday!) she is 3 weeks old.  She will be ready to leave her mum and come home with us in mid-July - once we have had our summer holiday.  Question is - are we really ready to start all over again!?

The Kingdom of God has Come?

I have really dried up on the blogging front.  No idea why.  I've probably just settled into work within the prison and the daily routine - and maybe nothing new happens from day to day.  (That can't really be true!?)  I have a decision to make however.  In the next 10 days my annual subscription is up on this blog site.  Do I renew or do I just retire?  I suppose you'll find out in the next 10 days!!

I've also been busy with a new group I've started.  It's called Exodus. I realised that for some of the guys who had been attending Chaplaincy things while in prison, and who had been starting at the very least to investigate the things of God, that once released they often fall away and don't make the transition into a local church.  So, along with one other guy who is now out on parole, I decided to start a wee fellowship group - for worship, Bible study, prayer and general support and friendship.  I told him that even if it was just the 2 of us we'd meet and pray for guys we knew.

It never was just the 2 of us!  We regularly have about 10-12 guys, all ex-prisoners.  Some have returned to the Christian commitments they have made previously, others are starting from scratch!  (During one study recently one guy asked "You mean Jesus came alive again??  I knew he died on a cross - I never knew he came alive again!)

I think it's helping!  One guy in particular came along a few weeks ago and prayed out from the bottom of his heart for God to help him and change him.  It was very real.  And what a change since - he said he left that night and has never felt the same since.  It's early days but he's now stayed out of prison for about 7 weeks - and only once before has he gone so long in the past 10 years.  He's off drugs, his family have welcomed him back, and he feels the urge to go round and apologise to folk he has offended against in the past and pay them back for things he has stolen.

Another guy announced that last week he went out and bought some shopping.  Not remarkable?  Well he said that was the first time he'd paid for his shopping in 5 years!!  Another guy announced that for 3 weekends in a row now he hasn't been lifted for being drunk and disorderly.  He did get into a fight two weeks ago (and had his jaw broken with a baseball bat!) and while family and friends all want to go for revenge, he wants to do it Jesus' way - and turn the other cheek and forgive.

Maybe not all remarkable stories - but as they were telling me these, and more, recently, I kept thinking "Behold, the Kingdom of God is coming among you."  Take control Father!

A Divided Nation

We live in a divided nation.  This has been coming home to me more and more in recent weeks and months.  It's not just that we're divided along racial, religious or national lines - although these are there too - but divided along cultural, financial and class grounds.  I'm probably saying nothing new, and am reluctant to say anything for fear of being 'classist' myself. 

I daily meet guys whose background I struggle to identify with.  But lads brought up in a culture marked with anger.  Whose lives as children was often complex, painful and full of memories and experiences no child should have to face.  Lives marked with a lack of hope for the future, void of aspirations and dreams, and lives marked with rejection and crushed self-esteem.  Where drugs and alcohol flourish.  Where survival of the fittest, or strongest, is the order of the day and where fists have now been replaced with blades.  It's a world that thankfully I have never really known.  I was raised with the support of a family more than the support of my peers.  Where I was encouraged to better myself and reach my full potential.  Where the only limitations placed upon me where essentially those which were self-imposed. 

Too many children are born into situations which will determine their futures before they are old enough to make their first decisions.  Is it right that just because of where you are born will determine your future and your likelihood of facing a prison sentence?  We're not even talking different countries
here - but the difference which sometimes 2 miles can make in some cities.  And, (I say somewhat controversially) is it right that it is those who have never had to live in these communities that make the laws, exercise the judgement and pass the sentences on those who are unfortunate enough to have done so?  Is this why those who through greed and questionably legal practises end up costing the country billions of pounds walk away with bonuses - while those who steal a £30 item from a shop face a prison sentence? 

And what does the Gospel say into these communities?  What hope does it offer?  And, maybe more crucially, where is the church in these areas?  If present at all, it's struggling away in every sense of the word, while mainstream church life develops a Starbucks ecclesiology.

I have no answers and don't mean to be critical of the church.  But it troubles me that we, as the church, are content to allow whole ghettos to develop on our doorsteps where so few disciples are prepared to go.  it troubles me that so much talk of "emerging church" seems to pamper to today's yuppie culture, and ignores the millions of children living in deprivation in our own country, the thousands for whom alcohol and drugs are the painkillers of choice, the millions who are disenfranchised from the church's life and community.  What to do?  I don't know.  "Here I am God, send me.  But show me how!!"

Disenfranchised Grief

“Disenfranchised grief can be defined as the grief that persons experience when they incur a loss that is not or cannot be openly acknowledged, publicly mourned, or socially supported.”

We had a woman come into the prison during the past week to speak to the Chaplains, who has just completed a Masters degree on "disenfranchised grief" within the prison context.  It was very interesting.

As the definition says, disenfranchised grief is grief which needs to be surpressed because the context in which one is grieving doesn't particularly support the grieving process.  Prisons are ideal examples of this.  The hard, macho image which most prisoners feel they need to maintain doesn't allow for tears or emotion.  And so prisoners who experience grief are prevented from working through the grieving process.

This doesn't just happen on the death of a loved one of course.  Grief is about loss and coping with loss.  And prison and prison sentences are essentially about loss too - loss of freedom; loss of contact with friends and family; loss of self-government; loss of dignity, personal belongings, routine, home - you name it.  Loss of what essentially defines you as a person.  All is stripped away and replaced with prison clothes and a number.  You cease being an individual and become a "prisoner" instead.

So, the challenge for Chaplains then is, if all prisoners are essentially coping with loss, especially those near the start of their sentences, and that grieving process is "disenfranchised" and surpressed, how do we support and offer pastoral care before the suppressing of emotions turns outward in anger and rage, or inward in depression and drug-taking.  (Not that I am saying that all these things are simply a coping (or not) with grief!).

Perhaps, especially for our long-term prisoners, we also need to prepare them for the sense of grief that they will experience when they are released.  Many expect that all prisoners will be delirious about their liberation but for many the reality is a whole mix of emotions.  It may simply be because of the sense of loss, and grief, which they experience once they are out, as they re-adjust to a new loss - that of the routine, friends, and familiar that they have come to know, regardless of how much they hated it while they were going through it. 

Anyway - haven't blogged for a while - so there are some of my musings as I sit here on a lazy Sunday afternoon.

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year folks - whoever you are.  I hope that 2009 is a good one for you, and that you are aware of God's goodness to you throughout. 

Back at work this week.  Always good to see the guys - they never find the Christmas/New Year period particularly easy times.  There are those for whom it's their first, others for whom it has been yet another ticked off (for one prisoner I saw yesterday it was his twentieth something!)  Turns out that Santa didn't come to any of them.  Just goes to prove that it is true that he only visits good boys and girls!

Had a nice time on the Isle of Skye to see in the New Year.  It's scarey to think that that was the 10th New Year in a row that we spent in Skye - where does time go?  And would you believe - it never rained once!  Was perfect Skye weather - cold, clear, blue skies - perfect. (The photo tells it all!)  At night the skies were just something else - the lack of light pollution makes a big difference.  It was quite awesome.

Before that I was off sick for a week :(  - and before that I celebrated my big 4-0!  (It was not that that made me unwell!)  It was also a busy week over the Christmas week, with about 60 folk at our annual carol service - and nearly 40 at our Christmas morning service.  Added to that the fact that as Chaplains we write a personal Christmas card to every one of the 750 prisoners, and you'll see it was a busy time.  (Thus the lack of blogs!)  Throw in the fact that I had a big decision to make about moving on to a new post - and you can imagine it was a bit of a stressful time too.  Tempted as I was, God made it quite clear that I should stay where I am - and I am relieved with that to be quite honest.  I do like my job!

But it is back to normality now, and another year looms large ahead.  I am spinning so many plates at the moment - all good ones - but I'm ever fearful that one may drop.  In the next few months the prison will also be entering its next phase of redevelopment which means a brand new Chapel and Chaplaincy Office.  But that means clearing out into temporary accommodation for the next year or so - and I'm not quite looking forward to that!  Yep - lots of fun - and stress - to look forward to in the year ahead!

HMP Addiewell

  I had a 3 hour visit yesterday to Scotland's newest prison - due to start taking prisoners on December 12th.  HMP Addiewell is a privately run prison, operated by a company called Kalyx, who already run a number of prisons south of the Border.  Needless to say the prison is very modern, even verging on trendy.  Lots of light and colour make it quite different from my own - and yet at the same time there were many grill gates and even padlocks on cell doors (all common in England I am told!).  Nearly all the cells are single ones, and contain both toilets and showers en suite. 

I like the philospohy of Kalyx.  The word itself "is derived from the botanical term calyx, which is the whorl of leaves, or sepals, forming the protective covering of a flower bud.  It is a symbolic representation of protection and care and it can also be associated with growth of the individual and strength".  Kalyx claim to put care at the top of their agenda - which proves that it can be done - see blogs from earlier this month.  Respect and dignity for prisoners is their aim.  What's best for the prisoner is their prime consideration.

So, for example, while walking around the new gym they were removing the new signs already, because they contained the word "prisoner".  "We don't want to single them out as a group" I was told.  Prisoners will all be called by their first name.  And if custody officers swear at prisoners then they will be disciplined.  Unlike another private prison that I have mentioned before, the officer:prisoner ratio is higher than that of the State run prisons. 

Unlike the State jails there will be no work sheds in the prison.  “Addiewell will be a learning prison, a place where prisoners can address not only their offending behaviour and the circumstances which lead to their imprisonment,  but also where they can be helped to improve their employability prospects, their wellbeing and community support networks, not least those involving their friends and families. Achieving those goals will be both challenging and stimulating for staff and prisoners alike."

Kalyx wants to build a new breed of prison that breaks the mould of what has gone before.  Time will tell.

My Secret Is Out

OK -I'm coming out of the closet!! I'm a secret Leona Lewis fan! (My street cred in the prison will be no more!) My good wife bought me the download of Snow Patrol's "Run" which just came out today - and I've played it silly. It has been a long time since a song got to me like this - much better than the original! Go on - give it a listen!!

R.I.P.

We had a prisoner who died at the start of the week while in hospital.  He had been gravely unwell for some time and his death was expected.  In his mid-40s, he had abused his body so much through drink and drugs that he looked like a man in his 60s.  Problem is, he has no family.  His next-of-kin was simply a long-term friend (who he hadn't seen for years) and it took the Police to track him down.  Our prisoner (who was a life prisoner and had been in for many years) never received vistors, never made phonecalls and never sent out or received mail.  Like many prisoners, he basically had no-one.  He had left a note to ask that his belongings be passed to other prisoners.

When the prison asked his 'next-of-kin' what he wanted to do regarding funeral arrangements the 'friend' just laughed and said he didn't want to get involved with that side of things.  So when the body is released we have no-one to release the body to and no-one willing to pay the cost of the funeral.  It will be over to the State to help.  We will be seeking advice from another prison who also 'lost' a prisoner - a young man.  He did have a family - but when the prison phoned the father to notify him that his son had died, the father simply said "good riddance" and hung up.  The prison did the best that they could - and arranged his funeral.  There were 4 people present - the minister and 3 prison staff.

One day these men had been born as wee babies - no doubt amidst lots of love, joy, tears, excitement and hope - and placed in the arms of an adoring mum.  Years later their lives end - and there is no-one to care; no-one to shed a single tear.  There can be few things more tragic than to end your life alone in the world.